Thursday, November 11, 2004
Twenty New Management Styles !
1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away.
"We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around
the corner.
2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their
hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out
of the windows.
3) MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness
by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.
4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He
knows what she must do.
5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers.
Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.
6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far
future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will
always have something to talk about.
7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept
information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of
simulants from category 5!
8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more
work to do.
9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the
corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal
managers, and so on.
10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice
suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
11) MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they
still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from
the practice.
12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These
sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you
can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these
managers are.
14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the
same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really
necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a
better infrastructure.
16) BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS )
This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer
Way Of Communication )
17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.
18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.
20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promisses, the priority of that promise is to
low to remember.